The last week...I don't know what it is.
Maybe too much caffeine?
I just cannot sleep.
Or, conversely, I'll be exhausted and sleep 15 hours.
I'll talk to the doctor about that.
I'm going to weigh myself tomorrow.
I haven't eaten much in awhile, and it feels like I've lost weight.
Cross your fingers...
Speaking of the doctor...
I went to the mental health place.
I was shaking the whole time, because I was so scared of looking crazy, so scared of them calling a 5150 on me and locking me up.
But, they didn't!
In fact, I have to go back tomorrow to a different place next door and talk to some doctors about outpatient treatment for my...whatever I have.
I'm really excited about it.
Maybe I won't have to feel all this irrational rage and anxiety.
Maybe can actually...I don't know.
I don't know what I'm hoping for.
All I know is that I am working really hard to lose weight.
I'm putting so much effort into school.
All I want is to eat Adderall, drink Diet Coke, and smoke cigarettes.
All day, every day.
If you haven't seen the documentary "Thin", by HBO, you MUST watch it. Seriously.
A few of the girls from it have died already...which is sad. =/
Just watch it.
Goal for today:
ZERO CALORIES.
:)
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